Dirty Words

Indeed I do. That smooth, velvety lycra is pure butter against my skin, and keeps the prickles, nasty rocks and other owie-causing foreign bodies (furrin? must be gawdum terrorists!) out of my shoes. I don't know how I ran without them before, and my performance and endurance have improved exponentially since I started using them. They are not only functional, but fashionable, looking good on the trail as well as with evening formal wear. After all, isn't it a terrible faux-pas when you're at some gala opening, and you drop a canape and it ends up inside your shoe (or, say, dropping jelly-bellies at an aid station?)? Dirty-girl gaiters have saved me from being ostracized by my petty social peer groups more than once! I also wear Dirty-girls safe in the knowledge that they are made by the finest American craftswoman, and not by some Third World maquiladora. After all, how much spare time do they have after working 22 hours a day making plastic crap for Wal-Mart? And what other company CEO would be out there mixing it up with her target market, while not wearing any panties? Quality, support for local economies, gratuitous beaver shots, and consumer value: let's face it--Dirty Girl Gaiters are good for Ultrarunners, and good for America.

~ Bruce Grant, Canada

Got my Cool Cat gaiters last week and I was so excited I wore them to bed. This elicited an unexpected and very enthusiastic response from my husband. Thanks Chrissy for rejuvenating our marriage! Now I want to get him properly shod.

Your friend in gaiters, Marie

Dirty Girl Xy Weiss (12:09) was present in her full body suit, covered toe to toe in thick understated fabric. Ok, just seeing if you were paying attention. With Xy around I feel like I'm geing chased by Barbarella gone wild. Her outfits are such a stark contrast with the natural surroundings that I can't decide if I'm in an ultra or at an outdoor Go-Go bar. Absolutely the nicest person you'll ever meet, this tenacious H-2 driving deputy district attorney has finished more ultras than I can tabulate in Excel. Personally low on sodium, at mile 43, Xy kindly offered to let me lick the salt off her body. Had I not just recently lubed my crotch with Vaseline, I would've taken her up on the offer but was still trying to calm myself down after the self-inflicted goose; maybe this routine will be an aid station table dance next year.

Charlie Nickell The Run Down. Net

Hi, Chrissy- I was in Flagstaff, climbing the mountain and thinking what else was needed for the Colorado experiments. Gaiters!? So I went into the local and 'oldest outfitter' in town asking the lady in the shoe and boot dept. for 'some Dirty Girls'. The lady said, "I beg your pardon?". I said, "I need some gaiters, ya know, the sleeve that keeps the rocks and sand out of your running shoes. I prefer 'Dirty Girl Gaiters'. Do you stock them or know where I can find some?" She said, "Find what?". I said, "Dirty Girls". She then said, "I want you to leave my store! Now!" I said, I just need..., but she said, "We don't tolerate talk like that here! Now, get out before I call the cops!" ...I used to understand women, when i was young, of course.

Love, Ernest S.

There was someone on the AT this year signing the name "Dirty Girl" in the Registers with beautiful hand writing. Many of the young men were excited to meet this self proclaimed naughty girl so they hiked faster and further each day to catch up with her in hope of a little trail romance. Some even hitch hiked and skipped trail miles to catch up. Once they caught up they were disappointed to discover that this "Dirty Girl" was a 50 year old man. Ha, ha! He was wearing Dirty Girl Gaiters on the JMT last year so the Rangers started calling him Dirty Girl. He told me he changes them out to a different design each month.

~ Balls (Eric Gjonnes)









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